Brokenness

The last two weeks have been full of brokenness. There have been daily, even hourly reminders that we live in a very fallen world. I've always known we live in a broken world but it's hitting close to home. I want this to be an honest and yet hopeful post so I'm not going to run through the list of reminders of this broken world. In the midst extreme sadness, confusion and tiredness I know God is who he says he is. I know the Holy Spirit is giving us grace to make it through each moment. A friend reminded us this morning at staff prayer that when life doesn't make sense at deep, deep levels, we can only run to Jesus because he has the words of life. John 6: 68-69 says, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God." It's King Jesus who hangs on to us when our faith is weak.

Many of you have heard about the Ebola epidemic in Uganda. Our WHM team has been greatly affected. The tone at home office is heavy, sad and clinging to Jesus and his promises. I greatly encourage you to read the blog of the doctors who have stayed in Bundibugyo to help with the Ebola epidemic. Their children and the rest of team were evacuated to Kampala earlier this week. Each post is powerful. Click here for the blog link: Myhre's blog

Last night Rachel and I were at Young Lives Club. I said hi to a friend and they asked how I was doing. I can't lie when life is rough. I don't have the gift of faking it so I said I was tiered and worn out from seeing all the brokenness in the world. They wrote me an encouraging email later that night. "You are at the point where your gifts will not help, but his Grace will be sufficient for you. Without ignoring the pain or denying the weight you carry for yourself, your friends, Uganda, your missionaries-- God is placing you right where he wants you-- naked before him, open to the cold-- ready to rest in the warm blanket of his embrace... Monica, go there!

Tears came to my eyes as I read these words. God will still use my gifts in the midst of the sadness but I'm realizing that my gifts won't fix the problems, pain and sadness. The graphic picture of my expose before God was hard to read and yet beautiful. I can be as I am before him and he loves me. May He give each of us the strength to "go there" with him.